Funny New Year's Resolutions

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my nightdress. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.

I will no longer waste my time relieving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.

I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses.

I will do less laundry and use more deodorant.

I will avoid taking a bath whenever possible and conserve more water.

Assure my lawyer that I will never again show up drunk at a custody hearing.

I will try to figure out why I *really* need nine e-mail addresses.

I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.

I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.

I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.

I will think of a password other than "password."

I will not tell the same story at every get together.

I will stop considering other people's feelings when they so obviously don't consider mine - if that unwashed fellow sits next to me again, I'll tell him he stinks!

I will be more imaginative.

I will not hang around girls - they think you love them and that sucks.

I will not ring the stewardess button on airplanes just to get her phone number.

Courtesty of NewYearFestival.com: